Thursday, February 1, 2018

King Of The Sea

King of the Sea
By Michael Cannata

He named his boat "King of the Sea!" He liked it. He liked it a lot! His wife, ever the pessimist, wasn't impressed. She hadn't cared for the new, used boat. She liked the new name even less.

 "Besides," she told him, "changing the name on a boat is bad luck!"

She collected old wives tales. He smiled with bemusement. "That's just an old wives tale!" he explained. "Well, what did you expect?" she laughed, "I'm an old wife! And you're too old to start a new life at sea. I have a bad feeling about this."

His brother was even more adamant. "You changed the name? What! Are you crazy? Didn't you learn nuthin' in the Navy? Besides, a boat is considered a 'She,' that name is bad luck!"

He recalled his years at sea as a sailor. He loved being on a ship on the open water. While he hadn't done much boating since he was young, the urge to buy a boat when he retired had never dimmed. His wife wanted an RV. She preferred camping and the feel of land beneath her feet. But he insisted on getting the boat.

When he first saw his dreamboat, gleaming beautifully in the bright sun, it was love at first sight. It'd been under tarps for the last two years. "It really hasn't seen much time at sea," the salesman explained. "The first owner had a run of bad luck and wasn't able to get it in the water much, she's practically brand new!"

The engines wouldn't start, but the salesman assured him they would have it running like a clock once they did all the needed repairs. Once the paperwork was in place, he helped put it into the water that night. He checked it carefully to be sure all the instruments and engine was working as promised. Everything was working and he had all the gear he would need right down to the best life-jackets that could be had. That would help his wife feel better. He had to fight the urge to take it out right then. But it was dark and he thought better of it.

Early the next morning he arrived at the dock, excited at the prospect of going on the shakedown cruise. He was understandably surprised to find its berth empty. The boat, save for the tallest antennas, was completely submerged!

The crane operator chuckled as he rigged up the lines that would hoist his dreamboat off the bottom. "You changed the name?" the operator asked casually.  "Isn't that supposed to be, like, bad luck or something?"

He was getting really tired of hearing that legend! He could hear his brother now. He was going to get a truckload… no… make that a boatload of crap when he heard about this. Maybe he should've left the name alone.

"What was her name before you changed it?" the worker asked.

"The Flounder," he answered, and began to laugh.

His wife was going to get a big kick out of this… and a nice new RV.

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